Friday, November 11, 2011
Little Dhruv
A little kid, Dhruv, in my daughter's class, all of 4 years something, leaves me depressed every time I see him. Make no mistakes; he is very sweet; very innocent; very cuddly. But just no one has time for him. He is unloved and unwanted. Both his parents work. His grandmother also lives with them. But non of the three get along with each other. The grandmother resents the fact that her daughter in law works and feels burdened and disinterested in the extra responsibilities in the evening of her life. To make matters worse she doesn't look in the best of health.
The little kid goes to school by school bus. While in the morning one of his parents leave him on the bus, when he returns, there is nobody to pick him up on most days. The bus conductor drops him at an electric shop near his house. A kindly woman, his neighbour, picks him up when she is done with her household responsibilities. She says the sweet little kid craves for love and affection.
On most days the guy falls asleep in the bus. The conductor has to then abruptly wake him up and dump him on a chair in the electric shop. When his neighbourhood aunty comes, he has to walk half asleep with her. What must be going through his mind when he sees other kids jump right into their mother's arms from the bus?
One day he was feeling very thirsty and since he doesn't carry a water bottle, the conductor took some from my reluctant daughter to quench his thirst.
There are days when the guy does not go to school and the neighbourhood woman still comes to pick him up from the electric shop, because no one bothered to inform her.
While other kids have started wearing warm clothes to school, his parents have not picked up the winter uniform from the school yet.
What makes his parents so callous towards their own son? What memories will the kid grow up with? What values will he imbibe? Will he grow up to be a healthy young man?
What will you blame the attitude of the parents on? Growth, development, market forces, woman's emancipation...
Sadly there are no answers.
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Rajesh what you mentioned was a very simple, common issue in metro..but it is such an important one and makes one ponder...So true what are we running behind and what are we missing during that run??? this read touched my heart! Poor little Dhruv, my heart goes for him, i can empathize so much with him!
ReplyDeleteya. i think a lot about him...
ReplyDeletethere are very few people MJi who are considerate about such issues...otherwise this metropolitan city is ruthless...his parents have to find out a solution or else this will be even more traumatic as he grows up...
ReplyDeleteand he might grow up to cause trauma to others...
ReplyDeleteI am actually sad for the child, but I don't know how to react to the parents' attitude. Ofcourse, from the child's point of view, I wouldn't ve two opinions. But may be for parents it is a tough decision to choose between a good school and a good upbringing. Good school comes with a big price tag, and may be one parent's earnings might not suffice all the family expenses. I think earning the livelihood has become more important than living the life itself.
ReplyDeleteThat's what happens when economic growth become the single agenda of the government. the fallouts are dangerous. lack of uniform and well distributed growth of the country spells danger for the law and order also. frustration levels are rising, so is crime. In countries like canada and denmark education of the children is the responsibility of the state. here even schools are after money.
ReplyDeleteIn last two years of my life i have lived in ahmedabad, mumbai and banglore and the conclusion i have come to is i wont be settling in Delhi. I prefer geographical smaller city with all/better facilities rather than living in chaos. Our neighbor's kid was almost raised by us. Same story but my parents are one those extra concerned neighbors. They used to wait for him till his bus drops him and mom used to serve him food piping hot. That kid today is 19 and loves my parents more than his. But sorry to say no wonder Druve grows up with heart full of bitterness. What's the point of expensive education when it takes the kid nowhere and still most of IAS and IITian's are from small towns. So expensive schools can not assure success. i want to settle in small town have less incoem but peaceful and healthy life for me and my family. I can live without gadgets/cars/malls/MNC profile. For me Love is a necessity
ReplyDeletehummmmm...
ReplyDeletei chanced by ur musings n i liked wateva i red. but sumthing in me protested too. like for example, in this piece, the lines "What will you blame the attitude of the parents on? Growth, development, market forces, woman's emancipation... Sadly there are no answers."
ReplyDeletewhy, my dear frend, do u include "WOMEN'S EMANCIPATION" among the various reasons behind the neglect of the child???? would u have preferred ur mother/daughter/sister to be illiterate and bound only to ther roles as a wife/mother/daughter-in-law etc just so that der children wud have a rosy childhood???? i am not saying that wat these parents are doing is sumthing ryt. n i am not taking away the role of the mother in this neglect. wat i am saying is, men and THER emancipation is not sumthing that u found to be the cause of all this neglect. just because a woman is the one who bears the child dosna mean the father has no role in the upbringing of the child. he is equally, if not more, to be blamed.
i myself am a daughter of a metropolitan. infact, i'm a delhite brot up in the heart of the city. both my parents struggled like anything to bring both of us-me and my brother- up. my mom is a staff nurse and inspite of her grueling shift duties and the fact that she had to commute more than 4hrs daily just in going to and coming from her work place, she has never neglected us. i have not been brot up by my neighbors. its just my mom n dad who brot the both of us up. we have nvr felt neglected. in the beginning, we did not go to sum really awesome school. but wen we both wer in our middle school, coz of our really awesome marks, we cud migrate to the top schools of delhi.
i do not at all think the problem lies with the woman and her emancipation. just because she is pursuing law does not mean she can neglect her child. and just because he is a man, the father too cant neglect his child. wat i suggest is, u talk to dhruv's parents and ask em to get a domestic help. everyone's problem will be solved. By the way, do note, its the EMANCIPATED WOMAN ie the domestic help, who will be ther saviour.
it really pains to see educated men like you write things like this. whats the difference then between the EMANCIPATED(so called) men and their illiterate-not-exposed-to-high-thinking-indulging -in-honour-killing-and-what-not counter parts??? broaden ur mind, dear frend. maybe u'll be truly emancipated then.
hey thanks for your response. i just left those points to be pondered over. there are people for and against those points. Personally, i have nothing against emancipation. I would love to take care of my kid full time one day.
ReplyDelete